Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
