how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
