it's great music for shaving your balls
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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