Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
