'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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