New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
