Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
