god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
