Life is so much better after having sex.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
