He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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