it's not cheating when I paid for it
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize