Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She bit a glass in half.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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