he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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