Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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