Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
