im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize