Im at strip club and am horny
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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