Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

yo i have your phone

(202): View more from Washington, DC

... oh so you probably won't get this message

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(703): View more from Virginia

Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor

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(914): View more from New York

i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!

(508): View more from Massachusetts

because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.

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(904): View more from Florida

my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.

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(407): View more from Florida

I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few

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(248): View more from Michigan

Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.

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(319): View more from Iowa

I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds

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(786): View more from Florida

I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.

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