I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The power of my boobs compel you
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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