In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
