you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize