You work out of a Hotel?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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