When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
