Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
...so i touched it.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
