even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
