I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
