just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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