when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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