So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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