o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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