does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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