talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize