Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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