I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
