question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
