New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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