He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she smelled like a LAN party
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize