as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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