Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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