I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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