He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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