Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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