where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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