she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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