I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Pappa wants mamma naked
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I pour the whiskey from now on
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
