You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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