Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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