i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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