Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
