dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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