cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
