DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You took a bar mat shot.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
