Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
