mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
