we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
