i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Randomize
