Your tits are I can't wait for
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
