People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
