She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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