More tranny stories later!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
