Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
