I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think I just sharted jello shots
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
