Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
