i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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