Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
