Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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