we're blogging at a bar
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
