1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
