In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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