just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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