dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
