I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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