question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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