Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
