Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
