Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
