YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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