New invention idea: vibrating tampons
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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