where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize